Parenting and PRs

It’s been a while since I wrote something worth while to post on here, but I guess this article is maybe part of the reason why. Life gets busy, even more so when you are a parent. I guess the audience I’m aiming for with this one is the future dads out there, expecting your first child, still trying to pursue strength goals, and not knowing what crazy curveball life is about to throw at you. Or maybe you’re a new dad, struggling to stay consistent with training and wonder: “when is life going to be normal again?”

It wouldn’t be fair for me to speak on what to expect from the Mamas side, considering I’m clearly not an expert there. So, sorry ladies I can’t help you TOO much but maybe there is a thing or two you can take away? I will say this much, what you do is far more difficult than what any man has to endure or rehab from so my hats off to you all. Now, lets get back on track, parenting and powerlifting, it’s a balancing act, and there are definitely phases to it that I’d like to break down from my perspective. Mind you, I’m still learning myself, I just have one boy who’s only about to turn 3, so I’ve just barely scratched the surface. I do think, however, any parent of a toddler will tell you this is where the going gets tough (sometimes).

So, like I stated above, balancing training and being a parent is something I break down in phases. Since I am a powerlifting coach and you’re probably a powerlifter reading this, we can relate these phases to phases of training. So, lets get into the first phase, we’ll call it meet prep, this is the phase before birth. Mom is going through pregnancy and all the amazing, beautiful moments that come along with it. She is super cheery, energetic, and excited about life every day for 9 months. (Guys, this is a joke).

Seriously though, you have to keep in mind while baby still isn’t here yet, she still needs you. You’re going to be building furniture, prepping a nursery, probably doing more chores and cleaning than normal but at least your schedule is still relatively normal. You’re sleeping well (enjoy it), training normally, and you can probably still sneak in one last meet or two. I would advise logging in at least one meet in this time frame because trust me after baby gets here, you’re not going to be in any shape to do one for a while.

If you have a coach, take this time to sit down with them and go over a plan for training in that newborn stage. We’ll talk about that later. Understand that IT WILL have to change, it will be less frequent, and that’s OK. If you were thinking about building a home gym, take it from someone who missed the mark there, now is the time to do it. Even if it’s just a rack, a bar, some plates and some dumbbells. Most importantly, understand that your life is about to change in the best way possible, and if you are someone who selfishly holds training up on a high pedestal (hands up, that’s me) you have to come to terms with relinquishing that for a bit. You need to be a father first, and everything else second.

So the next phase, we’ll call this meet day. However, it's not one day, lets just call this the entire first year of your child’s life. That in itself is like a powerlifting meet, you never know what to expect, you’re exhausted, you’re challenged, and you will feel rewarded. When my son was born, I just abandoned training all together. I had no talk with my coach (not blaming him), I didn’t develop a plan, I just figured I’d wing it. Mistake. I just didn’t train for almost 2 months. I would advise putting together a 12-week training plan with a 2 to 3 day per week split. Prioritizing SBD, and a handful of accessories. You can do one session of SBD, one session of accessories, and maybe one day of just getting steps or doing some sort of cardio and ride that out until you establish a routine with Mom and baby. There’s no pressure to get in every session, you do what you can.

The goal should be keeping each session under 60 mins and keeping intensity low because your sleep and nutrition will be trashed. The first months of my son's life I think I averaged 2-3 hours of sleep a night and lived exclusively off fair life chocolate milk at 3am and cold left-over pizza. I’m probably exaggerating a bit, but I was in no shape to train with any bit of high intensity. I used to call this the survival mode time of newborn life but as my son gets older, I’d probably refer to it more as the cherish mode time. While it feels like you’re never going to sleep again, I promise you will. What I can also promise you is that your child will never be that little again.

So again, I remind you, its time to get unselfish really fucking quick because these are moments you only get one time. Remember, for most of us, this is just a hobby. As you get through this phase you will develop a new routine, training sessions will probably be able to return to a normal frequency, but you’re not going to have 3 hours to train anymore. Leverage things like supersets, do mobility and even some accessory work at home, and think about training early in the morning or later at night (not advised). You’re going to have to get unconventional, but you’ll adapt. Again, there’s nothing wrong with 2-3 training days a week until you get a routine established. Don’t bite off more than you can chew.

The last phase, this is essentially indefinite, and really all I can speak on to this point, well call this the offseason. This is just your new normal, being a parent and a powerlifter. At this point hopefully you, Mom, and your new addition are doing great, you have a new routine, you’re sleeping well again, your nutrition is back on track, and life seems to be back in (somewhat) order. I guess I don’t have a ton of advice here except just be there and be present.

Powerlifting, if you want to compete at a higher level, is a selfish sport. It requires you to be present in and out of the gym, and you have to make some sacrifices. I’d be the first person to tell you it's something I struggle with today because I know it can sometimes take away from my ability to be the best husband or father. Not that I’m saying I’m bad at either of those things, but I know I can be better. Just realize that no matter what you say or do its impossible to fully pour into multiple cups.

As I get ready to head into my last meet prep ever, a lot of people ask why I’m stepping away from the platform and the previous sentence is my main reason. That’s not to talk down on other parents out there who manage to compete and be awesome parents, maybe you are better than me at compartmentalizing training and other things. However, unless you’re a genetically blessed god, you are always going to be at a disadvantage to the lifters who are maybe younger or those with no kids, that’s just a fact.

If you have a coach or a training partner who is a parent, pick their brains, ask them for guidance, you’ll be better off for it. Shit, my email and instagram is on this website, reach out to me and ill help you. This isn’t to scare you away from this balancing act we talked about, I just know for me, it's not something I want to balance any more. If anything, I care more about helping others balance it, so they can be much better than me.